Whether you’re new to The Bluff or have been here a while (cheers to you, super-seniors), you are probably not caught up on the extremely glamorous UP celebrity scene.
Here are fifteen folks you should be able to identify:
1. Fr. Mark Poorman. Even though I am reasonably certain Fr. Poorman is neither a father in the biological sense, nor an actual poor man, you should know what he looks like. Why? Because he’s the president of the University.
2. ASUP President Brandon Rivera & the Robin to his Batman Vice Prez John Akers. Rivera, who calls the ASUP office his batcave, is more likely take time to listen to your concerns about UP than sulk in a batty costume.
3. Kirk Mustain, General Manager of Bon Appetit. Basically, if you have any serious questions about the stuff you’ve been shovelling into your mouth, or want to not die from gluten exposure, Mustain is the man you should talk to.
4. As Public Safety Director, Gerry Gregg is the king of parking passes, student IDs and safety concerns. Of course, there are times when you might not need to appeal to the king directly, and may deal with his deputies.
5. Recently appointed Health Center Director Carol Dell’Oliver, PhD. is Supreme Warlock of physical and mental health. Her predecessor changed the way the Health Center talked about sex and shortened wait times for the counseling center, so we eagerly wait to see what new wizardry Dell’Oliver will unveil.
Carol Dell’Oliver
6. Senior Abby Sherman, president and co-founder of Students Against Sexual Assault (SASA for short), is a face to know as SASA continues to raise awareness about sexual assault and the meaning of consent.
7. If you have any questions or concerns about UP’s Community Against Violence program - or about violence in general, Tiger Simpson (no known relation to real-life tigers, most likely does not have tiger blood running through his veins) is your go-to guy.
8. Former Blazer Terry Porter’s inaugural year as the Men’s Basketball Coach did not exactly go as planned. This year, basketball fans will be watching to see what Porter will do after several star players graduated or transferred.
9. Assistant Professor of Environmental Studies Ted Eckmann is UP’s resident earthquake safety enthusiast. Bottom line: If it happens in nature (smog, pollution, merpeople), Eckmann (probably) knows (something) about it.
10. If you’ve decided on a major, you should definitely know your program counselor. Program counselors help you graduate on time by sorting out which classes you need and clarifying all the confusing stuff like credit transfers.
11. Brenda Greiner or B-Greins as (no one) calls her. She is the Director of the Shepard Academic Resource Center, which exists to help you navigate all things UP.
12. Whether you’re job hunting, or looking to spruce up your resume, Amy Cavanaugh, Director of Career Center, can make the whole process of starting your career a lot less frightening.
13. Wally. Yes, our mascot is a cartoonish looking man with a black beard. You don’t have to run from him. I mean, you can. But he does have approval to be on campus and at sporting events. Unfortunately.
