By Cassie Sheridan
Laying back in your dorm bed, or chilling in the Hooters ‘delightfully tacky’ Casino Hotel on a long layover, you blissfully think back on the past bougie week: Your parents’ stocked fridge, those wild nights, sunny days, all that guilt-free Netflix watching, swimsuits and no worries.
And now considering going to classes is making you physically ill. Instead of waiting three hours at the Health Center, let us diagnose your ailment. You, dear student, are suffering from post-Fall Break blues.
Experts (i.e. seniors) know the Fall Break blues is a dangerous condition that, left untreated, will destroy any future bliss and will become increasingly severe as that rain people keep talking about makes itself a daily presence.
You’ll be slumping in your earth-toned rain jacket and bopping back and forth from Franz Hall to Shiley Hall to the Clark Library, listless and zombie-like, refreshing your Fall Break photos (long past receiving any more likes) retweeting Christmas countdowns and staring hopelessly at problem sets that seem insurmountable.
You don’t have to live this way.
Now we could wax lyrical about maintaining positive attitudes, sharing smiles with fellow strugglers and not spending too much time creating blanket forts while watching entire seasons of Breaking Bad. But we realize that you already know these things and will probably do them anyways. That’s why we have compiled an innovative list of treatments.
While The Beacon can’t take your biology exam for you, or write that theology paper you’ve been putting off all semester, we can offer these expert-certified means of destroying Fall Break blues before you’re quarantined.
TREATMENT #1----Sweat it out! Sweat out the blues through vigorous exercise. Howard Hall has fun FREE classes taught by your fellow strugglers. Force yourself out of bed and into those overpriced workout clothes to dance, hula-hoop and Zumba your way out of gloom. Does the idea of going to the gym make you feel more sick? No problem. Go for a walk, run or hike. Get outside and breathe fresh air. The combination of regular exercise and fresh air are bound to not only release endorphins, but also combat the 6-plus meals you consumed daily over break.
TREATMENT #2----Go to that club meeting you keep saying you want to be a part of. You know that club you subscribed to three years ago during the Activities Fair and are still receiving emails from that cause you weekly guilt? Make a point of attending that one-hour meeting or activity. It’ll rejuvenate your spirit to meet new people and do to something you’ve been meaning to do for awhile.
TREATMENT #3--- Schedule adventure. Quit lusting over others’ Instagram posts of Cannon Beach and actually GO. Yeah, you can make a list of 1,000 important things that take precedent over taking selfies with the Multnomah Falls. But getting off campus and doing one or two things a week (or even a month) that are selfish and allow you to breathe and let your social media friends know you’re still alive and not unconscious in the basement library is important. Schedule it, and just go.
TREATMENT #4---Daily dose of friendship. You’re not alone. Post-Fall Break blues afflict everyone to different degree. Establish an informal support group among your friends and talk about your symptoms and solutions over coffee, tea or hugs. Try to be open about your gloominess and feed off the energy of others that are maintaining positivity in lieu of these harsh conditions.
Don’t worry. Christmas Break is only 53 days away!
