Jacob Fuhrer |
Consent has become a topic of conversation on The Bluff.
Fresh off the heels of a new “yes means yes” law to prevent sexual assault in California, UP Athletics sponsored “Can I Kiss You?,” a one-person show aimed at educating students about sexual consent.
California Governor Jerry Brown signed the law a week ago, solidifying the definition of consent on college campuses. Known as the “Yes Means Yes” law, it calls for "an affirmative, unambiguous and conscious decision" to engage in sexual activity.
Soon after that, New York Governor Andrew Cuomo ordered the State University of New York to adopt similar rules about consent, adding that a state-wide law is likely coming soon.
An event created by the Date Safe Project, “Can I Kiss You?” ties into these ideas of consent by working to educate students about consent within their own personal relationships.
Though most in attendance at the event on Oct. 7 were athletes, junior Abdulelah Alarfaj saw the posters for the event around campus and decided to check it out.
“I learned if we don’t ask, people won’t know,” he said, referring to Domitrz’s encouragement of students to ask their partners’ permission before becoming intimate.
He says he plans to follow Domitrz’s advice in the future.
Rower Casey Daley was one of a small group of students who volunteered to go on stage.
“It’s not normally what I do,” Daley said, “but it’s good to get outside of your comfort zone.”
Daley added that while she thought the topic would be awkward, she ended up having fun.
According to their website, The Date Safe Project aims to “provide positive how-to skills and helpful insights for addressing verbal consent, respecting of boundaries, sexual decision-making, bystander intervention, and supporting survivors.”
“Can I Kiss You?” puts a humorous spin on what is otherwise a sensitive topic of sexual consent.
The event is hosted by Mike Domitrz, author and founder of The Date Safe Project, whose one-person show is known nationwide and draws large audiences across college campuses.
Athletics opted to sponsor the event after noticing a large interest among student athletes wanting to help put an end to relationship violence on campus.
Alison Knoedler, the student development program coordinator for athletics, says this is a good time in students’ lives to educate them about safe relationships.
“It’s a reminder what a healthy relationship really is,” Knoedler said.
Beyond helping personal relationships, Knoedler hopes it starts a greater dialogue in the UP community.
“If you get students engaged in the topic, something’s gone right,” she said.
Engaged is the key word. Domitrz’s lively presentation frequently called upon audience members for input on how they would react in common romantic situations, often giving T-shirts and other trinkets to students for contributing to the conversation
Domitrz also encouraged students to be active on social media sites like Twitter and Facebook to spread the message about stopping predators and preventing assault.
Kristina Houck, who works as a coordinator for the bystander intervention program Green Dot, suggested bringing the event to campus.
While events similar to “Can I Kiss You?” have appeared on campus in the past, fewer exist now due to the creation of Green Dot, which has a team working to make campus safer for students and staff.
To help stimulate the conversation, Knoedler said coaches and administrators were asked not to attend in an effort to create a comfortable environment where students could listen and be engaged. “The more students talk about it [sexual assault], the less likely it is to happen,” she said.
Jacob Fuhrer is a reporter for The Beacon. He can be reached at fuhrer17@up.edu.
