By Kelsey Thomas |
The item senior Alicia McKay treasures most is a blue sweatshirt with the words “New Zealand” printed across the front. It’s not worth much money, but for Alicia, whose father wore the sweatshirt frequently before he passed away when she was five, it’s worth everything.
“It’s the only thing I really remember him wearing from my childhood,” Alicia McKay said. “When I wore it, I felt like my dad was around all day.”
And that’s why she was so devastated when it was stolen last month, along with many of her belongings.
Alicia’s mother, Jackie McKay, waited for the right moment to pass two sweatshirts on to Alicia and her sister. Last March, she decided they were old enough to take care of and appreciate them.
“That was a way to pass on something to the girls that has an emotional memory attached,” Jackie said. “It was to give them a tangible memory of their dad.”
Jackie emigrated from Australia as a young girl, while her husband came from New Zealand as an adult.
“We moved here with virtually nothing, so things may have a greater importance to me than they would have to other people,” Jackie said. “Things that cost a lot of money don’t necessarily have importance to me, they can be replaced. But things that have memories attached to them, particularly family memories, do.”
Jackie said not having many heirlooms or memories of her family is part of why it was important to her to keep a few items that belonged to her husband.
Alicia said that the sweatshirt not only reminded her of her dad, who died of prostate cancer, but made her feel more connected to her family heritage.
“That was pretty much all I had from New Zealand,” Alicia said.
The Break-in
After spending her summer on campus taking classes, Alicia left most of her belongings at St. John’s Storage on 8190 North Lombard St. while she traveled home to Buckley, Wash. for three weeks.
“Other than a few clothing items and miscellaneous things I thought I might need when I was home, everything was in there,” Alicia said. “My entire life was in there.”
When Alicia returned to the storage unit three weeks later, ironically sporting a t-shirt with the words “Will you be my partner in solving crime?,” she was shocked to find it empty and swept clean.
She spoke to the manager, who informed her that other renters had also had safety problems, but that since she had not purchased outside insurance they were not responsible for any losses.
“They said there wasn’t anything they could do for me because my door was locked wrong, but it wasn’t,” Alicia said. “My lock was completely secure on the door and everything.”
Alicia broke down as she realized the items the treasured were gone, including her dad’s New Zealand sweatshirt.
“I can rebuild and I can remake things, but it’s the memory that’s most upsetting,” Alicia said.
Having had the sweatshirt for less than six months made it all the more difficult.
“The timing was so unfortunate,” Jackie said. “I also saved some of his wool vests and I gave her one of those, but I know it’s not the same.”
So much taken
Alicia said that although the other things she lost can be replaced and all she really wants back is her sweatshirt, adjusting to life without so many basic items has been difficult.
“It’s one of those things where I keep remembering something I lost and I’m like ‘God! That was gone too!’” Alicia said.
The first night after discovering the break in, she realized that her service dog she keeps to help her deal with panic attacks, Bogart, no longer had a bed.
“They stole his crate,” Alicia McKay said. “They stole all his food and supplies. I don’t have his nail clippers anymore, so his nails are kinda getting out of control.”
She is also adjusting to a much smaller wardrobe and fewer school supplies.
“I’m going to be wearing repeats of clothes a lot,” Alicia McKay said. “I lost all my GRE study books. I’m applying for grad school and I take the GRE Nov. 8 and I don’t have them anymore.”
Community support
Although rebuilding her life has been a painful process, Alicia continually emphasizes how blessed she has been by the North Portland and UP community and their efforts to help her find her dad’s sweatshirt and rebuild her life.
“I’m seeing it more as a really sucky blessing, but still a blessing,” Alicia said.
The UP Marketing department put a flyer about the sweatshirt on the UP Facebook page, the Financial Aid department provided her with an emergency scholarship for textbooks, and her friends have generously replaced many of the things she lost.
“It wasn’t much, but when I heard about what happened I took off from work a little early and offered to drive her to Fred Meyer and we bought a couple items that she would need,” said Jason Weeks, Alicia’s friend and 2011 UP alumnus. “She was just missing so many items after the break in.”
Alicia said the thoughtfulness of Weeks and her many other friends who have supported her has blown her away.
“He was like ‘anything you need, I’m going to buy it and I don’t care that you’re prideful and won’t accept it,’” Alicia said. “Then he went ‘ok, so you got everything you absolutely need. Now I’m going to make you buy things you want and I’m going to pay for them.’”
People’s kindness has driven Alicia to tears on multiple occasions. She even created an album on Facebook to make sure everyone received her appreciation.
“I’m so impressed with how she’s doing with this,” Weeks said. “It’s been really hard not having the stuff that has that emotional significance to her. I just really admire her.”
Alicia has also been forceful with her social media efforts to find her sweatshirt, and North Portland residents whom she has never met have stepped in to help.
A picture and description of the sweatshirt has received over 1,750 shares on Tumblr, and after posting a request on Reddit asking Portlanders to keep an eye out for the sweatshirt at thrift stores, Alicia received comments from Portlanders offering to put up flyers, give her a spare dog crate, check thrift stores around town and pass the message along to friends and neighbors.
Alicia is offering a $50 dollar reward and baked goods for the return of her sweatshirt, no questions asked.
“If the robber came up to me and was like ‘I found this’ and I knew they didn’t, I would be like, ‘thank you,’ truly,” Alicia said. “I’m not going to press charges or anything. I just want it back.”
Seeking the good
Alicia and her mother agree that whether or not the sweatshirt is returned, they will choose to remember the positive experiences that came out of the break-in.
“When she remembers the loss, she can simultaneously remember the good, remember all the wonderful people who have helped her and remember that in a bad situation, good can come out of it,” Jackie said.
For the McKays, seeking the good in tragedies has become a way of life.
“I believe that horrible experiences, as horrible as they are, can bring good,” Jackie said. “I’m not negating all the misery and pain that losing my husband and my children losing their father brought. Hands down, I would much rather have him and have someone be there for them. But what I’m trying to say is that experiences are not all bad even if they’re horrible experiences.”
Jackie said losing her husband made them all more aware of both the frailty and good of life.
“The death of their father made my girls more compassionate,” Jackie said. “It also convinced me to become a nurse, so I’m going to be a hospice nurse and do good for others.”
Alicia said she has forgiven whoever robbed her storage unit, but asks that they would be kind enough to return her sweatshirt.
“I’ve grown a lot from this robbery and I don’t see it as a bad thing anymore, I see it as a positive experience,” Alicia said. “But I’d really like that item in particular back.”
