Senior studies domestic violence among students

By Amanda Munro, Staff Writer munroa15@up.edu

One in four women experience domestic violence in their lifetime. Every day in the United States, three women and one man are murdered by their intimate partner. In Oregon alone, one in 10 women between the ages of 20 and 55 (more than 85,000 people) have been victims of physical or sexual assault by a current or former intimate partner in the last five years. But most domestic violence cases go unreported, making this issue even more common than estimated in statistics. Senior sociology major Katie Van Dyke is researching these statistics, and writing her thesis paper on attitudes about domestic violence among students at University of Portland, so she can determine what needs to be done in terms of future education and prevention. "I'm certain that every person in this university knows someone who's been affected by domestic violence but isn't aware of it," Van Dyke said. "We're trained to think relationships are private, so this sort of violence goes under the radar." Van Dyke is particularly interested in college students because of her work at The Raphael House, a local domestic violence shelter, where she learned that the cycle of violence starts very young. "Someone could be in their junior year of high school in their first relationship and be seeing signs of domestic violence already," Van Dyke said. According to Van Dyke, someone who hasn't been educated as to what a healthy relationship looks like can easily become stuck in a cycle of violence because they don't know any alternatives. Often, people don't identify verbal abuse, emotional abuse, or manipulation as violence and therefore don't see themselves as being in an unhealthy relationship. But the most harmful stereotype about domestic violence is the motivation behind abuse and why victims put up with it, Van Dyke said. "Domestic violence isn't just about an individual's anger; it's about power and control," Van Dyke said. "Right now when people hear 'domestic violence', the first thing they say is, 'Well why doesn't she leave?'" But Van Dyke said it's a complicated issue. Victims of violence may have children with the abuser, they may feel that the abuser is the only person who's ever loved them, or they may not have any money. Many women Van Dyke worked with had spouses who controlled their bank account and owned all of their personal documents. These are factors that people fail to consider when they wonder why someone doesn't simply leave an abusive relationship. "I think it's really important that people are educated about the deeper roots of the issue so they don't think it's all about an individual woman who chooses to stay even though her individual partner is mean to her," Van Dyke said. "It's about twisted dynamics that make it impossible to leave physically and emotionally." Van Dyke has seen through her work and research that domestic violence is not an individual issue but a cultural one, and the only way to solve the problem is through education from a young age. She believes we need to teach children that they are valued, loved, and that their value is not in their ability to obtain and maintain a relationship. "Teen magazines place more value on the status of being in a relationship than anything about the individual themselves," Van Dyke said. "Of course young women are going to be pressured to stay in relationships that they know aren't healthy for them, because that's what they're taught is most important." But according to her research, women are not the only victims of domestic violence. Yet because of the prevailing stereotype of women as victims and men as perpetrators, male victims often don't receive the help they need. Van Dyke thinks that we live in a culture of disrespect and victim blaming especially along gender lines, which allows domestic violence to occur. She insists that we need to shift our cultural attitudes to reduce domestic violence. College students can start by educating themselves about what domestic violence really is and what they can do about it.  "People need to know what violence looks like," Van Dyke said. "[And] that it's okay to intervene in the relationship of a friend or peer if they feel uncomfortable with it." Van Dyke's advisor, sociology professor Martin Monto, also stresses the importance of bystander intervention. "Truthfully, preventing violence requires us to take responsibility for one another," Monto said.  Monto said people tend not to act if they aren't sure violence is taking place, but he insists it's important to act anyway. "You don't have to leap in and accuse someone of being an abuser, but you can say, 'I've noticed you seem a little hesitant around Joe. Are you feeling okay about that?'" Monto said. "You can check in with the person. That's one of the first things you can do." Even if they aren't familiar with the people involved, they can still talk to that person's friends or even their R.A. It's also possible to talk to the suspected perpetrator. If someone knows for sure that someone else is in an abusive relationship, they can refer the victim to UP's counseling center or to the Portland Women's Crisis Line, both anonymous services for talking about these kinds of issues. But if these tactics don't work, they can anonymously call Public Safety or Portland Police. "If you know a person is in an abusive relationship and may not want to end it, that sort of intervention can be helpful," Monto said.  Monto and Van Dyke both agree how vital it is that students understand the gravity of this issue and start paying attention to it.  "We have a responsibility as a community to one another," Monto said. "If we sit silently, it reinforces the message that it's an individual's responsibility to deal with it, which is much more difficult than most people think." Van Dyke hopes to continue working on her thesis for uses of publication after she graduates. She also wants to continue her work on this issue through education or further academic research. "[Domestic violence] is a problem that really does affect everyone, both the people who know the individuals involved but also the community that stands by and lets this happen to such a huge percentage of people in our society," Van Dyke said. "We're human beings, we're social animals, and we can't continue to let that happen."