(Samantha Heathcote -- The Beacon)
By Charles Steele, Guest Commentary
In the last Beacon there was an article that stated that chivalry was dead and that men in today's society don't have the traditional values that woman want. I wholeheartedly disagree with that statement and assert chivalry is alive — it's just not what many women really want. I will not argue that there are not plenty of men who do not treat woman with the respect and dignity, the jerks, a-holes or simple lesser men.
But I know a myriad of men who are willing to and do treat women with respect, take them out to dinner, know when it is and isn't appropriate to pay the bill, give their dates flowers, call them with honest intention of just talking to them, and respect their friends and parents, the whole nine yards!
However, in today's society I find that more and more often woman enjoy the idea of chivalry more than they enjoy the actual chivalrous gentleman. I am tired of hearing about chivalry being dead and how all men are awful. I am sick of hearing this; women it's about time you hear the rebuttal from the chivalrous men.
Women, you cannot honestly believe chivalry has died because of men's own volition. Something had to change for men to give up the idea of chivalry and change to the current non-gentleman approach for attracting woman. Men are simple; if something isn't broke we don't fix it, i.e. chivalry; if it was what woman pursued we'd use it. I assert that women you in fact, have designated chivalry as unattractive and therefore have forced many of us to stray away from chivalry. I cannot sum up what I mean any better than an example from a good friend's comic.
The first slide is of a knight in shining armor slaying a dragon. The next slide is the same knight climbing a tall tower to save the princess. The third slide is the knight holding the princess in his arms in a meadow telling her she's finally safe. The final slide is the princess on the back of a motorcycle, arms around the "bad boy" while the knight is left with nothing but a quote bubble saying "what's the point?"
The problem seems to be women in today's college society don't want chivalry. They want the boy who's good at Beer Pong, drives a bit recklessly (or if he doesn't have a car on campus, tells stories of his exploits), or takes you out to The Cove and doesn't pay for you because "Babe I'm broke, its college." The boys who know where the parties are at on any given weekend. The guy who you know is going to break your heart, but you hope against hope you could be the "one can fix him." Does any of this sound just a little familiar? Maybe your most recent heartbreaker?
A gentleman in today's society is NOT respected; you don't want the chivalrous knight in shining armor any more than you want to study the night of your best friend's birthday party. Chivalrous guys are the ones pushed to the sides as "nice guys" the friend you cry to when your jerk of a boyfriend breaks your heart...again. You come crying to us saying your heart is broken and "why can't I just find a nice boy?" or "why do I attract such jerks?" The truth, sadly, is you chose jerks. During my freshman year I took my girlfriend out to dinner every weekend. I would drive back to my hometown 45 minutes away to pick her up and take her out. We would go to dinner and then out for a walk downtown; I would have her home on time and truly cared about her. I bought her flowers and tried to call her at least four times a week just to see how she was doing. I felt bad because I couldn't be with her more, as she was finishing her senior year and I was here at UP. I believed I was doing all the right things to keep her interested in me, her parents loved me, and I was as caring and polite as a gentleman should be. I was doing all the things I was brought up to do. We were together for a while, and honestly, I believed things were going well. Every relationship has its ups and downs, but I felt things were generally good. The problem was, as nice as I was I wasn't more attractive than the bad boy. She cheated on me and then lied to me about it. She broke my heart, but what's worse I never saw it coming. I was hurt and the jerk beat me. Chivalry: 0 jerks: 1.
My heart ached and in the end I got over her and have kept fighting the good fight. It's worth it, however the aforementioned actions make it harder and harder to keep fighting because we constantly ask ourselves: What is the point? The idea of chivalry doesn't generally win. If you want a chivalrous man, you really have to mean it, you can't just say chivalry is dead when the jerk you're interested in hurts you. Then chop every bad relationship decision up into the fallacy chivalry is dead. I assert that we are out there, and we are worth finding. I will even give you help. Every girl at UP knows at least one of us. We're your good friends as previously mentioned we are your shoulder to cry on.
You tell yourself that we're not interested in you, and we play along because we would rather hide our true feelings for you than cause you any sadness. We hold onto the dim-witted belief that you'll one day notice us and realize we've been the one who's always been there for you and have always truly cared about you, because well, we always have.
So please, ladies don't say chivalry is dead. It is just that many of you refuse to pursue us. There are a lot of lesser men out there, a lot of men who take women for granted and have "one" thing on their minds. But chivalry is out there; we do care for you and want to treat you right. If you don't believe me I, dare you to go out with the "nice guy" and tell me the experience was a bad one.
I also challenge you to turn down the bad boy at the party and reverse the growing trend we see in society. The previous article challenged men to step it up; well, ladies, I say to you, it's time to step it up as well. Don't keep allowing these lesser men to take you out on "dates" let us take you out. Please let us prove chivalry is alive. Or if you wish to disregard my challenge, at the very least stop saying chivalry is dead, because you've refused to truly find out.
Charles Steele is a junior Environmental ethics and policy major he can be contacted at steele12@up.edu.
